Going to have to work on separation….

This is becoming a serious issue with us. She has always been attached to me more than she should and has a hard time when I leave to go out. She would scream and beg me not to leave, but then with in a few minutes of my being gone she would calm down and be ok. She would then be able to have a nice, fun time with her dad while I’m gone.

Unfortunately this is not the case lately. Things are starting to change big time and i’m not sure why. The last time I went out just for about an hour. I went to pick up a friend and bring her back for a knitting lesson. Juli was sound asleep on the couch when I got back. It was a bit earlier than usual for her to be asleep, but i didn’t think much about it then.

I asked Jean-Pierre the next day about how she was the night before, expecting him to tell me the usual that after I left she cried a couple minutes and then she was fine. Instead I hear that she went into complete hysterics, kicking and screaming, practically tearing at the door, screaming for me to come back. She wouldn’t even let him touch her or comfort her. All she wanted was me. He hadn’t seen her that extreme before…..

It made me feel sick to hear that. It made me cry……

I hate putting Juli through these emotions but I do need to go and do things sometimes with out her. I need to have some time to myself sometimes. To remember who I am and get that back, not always be Juli’s mommy.

But when I know this and think to myself that my going out will put Juli through that and as well will leave Jean-Pierre to cope with her like that I feel guilty putting either of them through that and it makes me not want to go out :-(.

And God only knows what she will be like if Jean-Pierre and I hire her baby sitter and go out for a date….. I don’t know if we can do that and leave her baby sitter to handle her if she is like that…..

I wish I knew why this is changing now… The one thing I do know is that this is going to become priority to work on with her RDI therapy…..

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