She must be stressed about something…..

One of Julianna’s stimms is to hold her crotch and push. We call it “pushing” mainly because it looks like she is pushing on her crotch. It basically looks like what most kids do when they have to go pee and they are holding it because they don’t want to go.  Which is why most people that see her doing it, and don’t know about her issues, ask her if she has to go to the bathroom. But she doesn’t.

For her it is different.

Her reason for doing this has nothing to do with going to the washroom. It is all about feeling stressed and putting the pressure on herself “down there” helps her to feel better. She needs the deep pressure, thrives on it. It seems to be the only way to regulate herself.  Her occupational therapist is trying to find other ways for her to get the deep pressure sensation that she is looking for, but so far no success. This is a very high feeling spot and so far nothing else we have tried is able to give her that same feeling of pressure that she needs.

The problem right now is that we don’t know what she is feeling emotion wise and why she is feeling stressed.  It could be the littlest of things that is making her feel off. It could also be something big.  We don’t know. Honestly – I don’t even think she knows. And if she did she can’t tell me.

I’ve noticed that she also goes through periods. There will be periods of a couple weeks that she doesn’t push at all and Jean-Pierre and I say to ourselves one day “She hasn’t pushed in a while”.  Then a couple weeks later we’ll be commenting to ourselves “she’s been pushing a lot lately”….

Tuesday night was one of those comment nights. She seems to be in one of her pushing a lot periods right now. It seems like she is doing it all the time. Except of course when she is asleep. There have been times that she has lost her balance and fallen down because she is trying to walk while pushing :(…. I just wish I knew why.  Nothing has really changed around the house or in life and surroundings seem to be the same. I do make a few small changes around the house sometimes. We moved in during the summer and I am still trying to find the best place for things and moving small things around to see if they fit better in other spots, but those are just small changes aren’t they…??? Do they bother her?? She has been in the school for two months now so that can’t be it – can it?.

I have also noticed that her sleep patterns are messed up again. I am learning that not good sleep patterns come with both autism and SPD, but like this?

Her sleep follows a pattern too just like like the pushing. Not necessarily at the same time though. She may be in a low pushing period but in a bad sleep period or vise versa.  She was sleeping the whole night in her bed for quite some time and now every night sometime between 1:30-3:30am she wakes up agitated and comes to see me in my bed. It goes back and forth like this during her sleep periods.  I am wondering if her not so good sleep patterns are causing her to feel off in her body which is giving her the need to push or if both the poor sleep pattern and the pushing are both related to something else……

I guess like everything else, only time will tell. Something else to talk to her RDI therapist about.  We have a Skype session tonight. I’ll let you know how that goes….


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