I can finally say that we have crossed the barrier. Juli is ok with me going out now.
There is no more meltdowns and begging me to stay home. No more crying. No more “I don’t want to be with daddy”…
And man, what a relief it is. How good does this make me feel :)….. I used to have to get out for my own sanity or just because I needed to get some things done and I used to feel so bad about leaving. It would break my heart and I would end up crying myself part way to my destination.
But now I can safely say that is no more!
I go to see my psychologist on average once a week and now when I have to go out I tell Juli in the afternoon “When daddy comes home I have to go out”. Now instead of “I don’t want you to go!” I get “where are you going mommy?” Now she isn’t totally settled yet so I can’t always tell her the exact details as she will obviously still want to come. So I tell her I have to go to a meeting or I tell her I have to go and talk to some people.If I am going to see D. Zanni then I tell her I’m going to get her a snack from miss Zanni’s. She loves the snacks there so I always bring her home a little something when I go. It is so cute.
Once I told her that I am going she says to me “and I’m staying home with daddy and we are going to do things and have so much fun?” And I say “yes” and she now just says OK. And that is usually it.
And trust me that IT feels so good!!
We have worked so hard for this and it has taken a very long time. She is 5 and only now can I leave the house without my daughter freaking out.
She is not bad when Jp and I both leave together. That is a little bit harder as it doesn’t happen very often (not as often as we would like, but we are working on that too). She gets a little bit upset for a few minutes, then she wants to open and close the door behind us then at the last minute decides she doesn’t want us to go after all and has to process accepting that we are anyways. But the babysitter we found, that specializes in Autism, he is really good so he knows how to handle this well. This makes us feel very comfortable :).
Hopefully this being accomplished will help towards releasing some of the extreme over attachment she has with me… I love having her close with me, but I also know that this close will not help her in learning to regulate herself when she is deeper into the school system. So it’s important that we do this…. and so we are.