Need to do this more often….

Tonight we had our close friends come over. It was a great night. I’m sure that they will read this post – so thanks for an awesome night ;)!

It doesn’t happen as often as I’d like it to since we moved out here and that is something that makes me sad.  We moved to what seems like “the end of the earth” to some of our friends – and sometimes it feels like that for me too.

But tonight I got to have some time with one of my bestest friends, Juli had someone she loves to play with and three hockey lovers got to watch the game together.  All in all an awesome night.  I really miss that.

This is what it’s all about. Not the craziness of life or the stress, but spending time with friends, the people you love.

I tend to get to absorbed in secluding myself and that isn’t good for me. I tend to get used to staying home and not focusing on doing things and seeing people. This is something I have to work on. I have to focus on socializing more with the friends that mean so much to me.

I never used to understand why I have this gravitational pull to stay at my home, but now I understand that it is part of the Asperger’s that is making me feel this way. You don’t know how hard it is to pull yourself from this… but I know I need to.

I have to keep remembering the feeling I have when I am with my friends and keep that at the front of my mind. Use it to force myself to get out. Not allow myself to give in to the will to stay put. No matter how much I feel I want to.

I’m still trying to figure out why somethings are so hard for me. My emotions are very powerful and I am only starting to learn to control them, but in these cases where I am having to force myself they still control me.  That is going to take a lot of work, but at least I now know what is going on and that allows me to work on it and hopefully tweak that part of me in the future.

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