Going to be a day and a half…..

Usually right now I’m preparing myself my first cup of coffee.

I’ve brought Juju to school, come home and cleaned up a bit and now getting ready to get some steps in while I enjoy my coffee….

This morning however, I am now actually starting my second cup of coffee… I think it’s going to be one of those days….. Oh boy……

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PedDays really don’t help:(

Getting Juju off to school this morning was really, really hard :(. 

The day off on Friday put her in even more of a “I’m afraid to go” mode this morning…

I woke up with a migraine and that really didn’t help either. I rested a bit to get my migraine somewhat under control and then I worked on prying her out the door.

When I got back from driving her though, my migraine was worse than it was when I woke up :(.

We had our second therapy session tonight and it is a relief to know that we are getting help with this and we are working hard to make the situation better.

It’s going to take time and a lot of emotions, but we’ll get there…..

Let’s see what tomorrow morning brings….

It’s Monday morning tomorrow and that means back to school for Juju. And going to school on a normal morning is already hard enough…. Now I’ll be trying to get her in after this being a 3 day weekend…..

She told me earlier that she wanted to try and see if she can take the bus in the morning to school. I told her it’s always good to try, and if she can’t tomorrow then we try again the next day.

She seemed pretty confident up until a few minutes ago, and then it started to unravel. I had a feeling it would. It’s ok though, we’ll keep working towards it πŸ™‚

For now we work on one thing at a time and right now that is getting her to be less afraid of going into school.

The more self aware she becomes, the more fears she gains.

It’s really hard to help her with this as I also have the same feelings and it’s really hard to push past mine in order to guide her…

We have engaged a therapist now, so we are going to get help with this πŸ™‚

Day 3 :(…

Days 3 of a stubborn migraine.

I woke up with this not welcome friend on Saturday morning and it still doesn’t want to leave me alone….

It’s very draining to have a migraine.  I’m just thankful I don’t get them as bad as some people I know.

I’m trying to devote tonight to relaxing in hope it will get the message that it’s not welcome anymore lol…

I’m curled up in bed in cozy pj’s, with my crotchet work and a mug of Precious White Peach tea.

Hopefully this will do the trick as I have a busy month end week ahead of me for Make Green Go Green! Lots of exciting things going on and I’m helping a couple wonderful ladies get going with the team ☺️.

It’s going to be a mixed bag week. Great things with the MGGG team, but I’ve also got Katie’s anniversary of her passing on the 26th :(….

Feeling safe feels good :)

There are times when I experience a situation that prior to being diagnosed I would not understand why things are the way they are. But now since I found out that I have Asperger’s I have quite a few “ah, that’s why!” Moments….

Those moments feel really good. It’s like a sense of completion :). It’s like something that I always thought was broken in me or I didn’t know why I was different, I now have a reason and know that it’s ok to be exactly how I am πŸ™‚

I had one of those moments on Saturday after juju’s cheer comp. I was with her cheer group which is full of people who understand special needs :).

They are watching a movie and they are all laughing like crazy at this movie. I look at the movie and I don’t understand what they are laughing at….. In fact, I found the movie a bit stupid.

Out of every 10 jokes that they said, I got maybe 2 of them….

What felt the most amazing though is that since I’m with all of the team parents I was in a safe environment and I didn’t have to worry about what they thought of me πŸ™‚

That feels so good!!! 

Welcome to Monday Morning….

I’m working on a cup of coffee and catching up on one of my fav shows for a few minutes before I go back to tackling house chores….

Monday is always my “cleanup after the weekend and get organized for the week” day lol

I make sure to make time for winding down from the weekend as weekends usually feel like whirlwinds…

Monday’s are harder days for me as things are finally quiet and my brain needs a lot of time to absorb the quiet.

I have a few chores in the kitchen on my list so that they will encourage me to get going and do more :).

I love Mondays, but I hate Monday’s too lol.

Time to heat up my coffee, and finish it so that I can move onto tea 😊

I was a good girl this afternoon lol…

I’m always being told by those that love me, that I need to listen to my body. To stop and rest when my body tells me to…

Well, I don’t very often listen, but today I did.

Yesterday was a very long day and my body needed today to recover. So I listened and took it easy. Trust me, that’s not very easy for me to do lol!!

Yesterday my body was trying to get me to slow down and stop and I wouldn’t listen. I regretted it last night and today.

I don’t want to make that mistake again lol….

So I was a good girl this afternoon and forced myself to take it easy on the big chores and focus on the small ones…

I know H will be proud of me πŸ˜ŠπŸ‘πŸ»…

Balancing Act….

Yesterday was a day for non-stop running around and getting as much done as I could. And I over did it….

Today I have to force myself to take it easy and blend equally getting some things around here done with relaxing :)…

Definitely easier said – or in this case written lol – than done.

Got Juli off to school and now I’ve been having some catch up time with my soaps.

In a little bit when this episode is finished, I’m going to go and get some steps in and work on some easy chores :). Then give my hands a break so I can tackle the bathroom this afternoon.

Get things done today, but time it right so that I don’t end up hurting or overwhelmed. Juli asked to go to daycare after school for a bit so that gives me a little extra time :).

Yay lol!!

Too much :(….

Yesterday was all about doing a lot…too much in fact.  I was running on complete adrenaline and total lack of sleep.

Today I regret that. Not what I managed to accomplish, just how much I pushed myself to do it all.

And of course, how much my hand and foot hurt when I went to bed last night :(…..

I should have taken it more easier yesterday knowing that I needed to be out most of the day today.

Sometimes I’m on a roll and I just want to go go go! I forget I need to listen to my body too……

It’s so hard, when you’re accomplishing things!!

I’m just happy the tomorrow is a keep calm and relax day. I really need one of those right now……..

Good morning!

Some days I can’t seem to find my way and get going on the day – that was totally yesterday.

So far this is a pretty good morning :)! I’ve managed to have a pretty productive morning up to now. Drove Juju into school and got to see her interact with her friends; came back home and stripped Juju’s bed and am in the process of washing her sheets.

My bed comes next. Strip bed, wash sheets and put on nice clean sheets.

I’ve watered and fed all my plants and going to give my palm a “haircut” shortly. Plus I’ve also managed to get half way to my goal and it’s not even 9:30am ☺️!!!!

Now to sit down for a small break and try my new organic, light roast coffee, yummy!!!! Light roast is my fav!!!

And yes, this new coffee is VERY good :).

A few minutes for me and then back to the chores…..

Here and gone….

The last 6 months have felt like I’ve been in a dream to me. So much has happened and so fast.

It’s kind of feels something like being on a lazy Suzan that someone else is spinning around. When it stops you take care of what is in front of you and then you get spun around again. Stop – do what’s in front of you – spin. Over and over.

That is what it’s been like. I feel like I have just been going and not having time to take in life and what’s around me.

I feel like I never really did the cat sitting, that it was just a dream.

One day, I’m working on myself to get better emotionally; the next I’m going on a week vacation with my husband and daughter; then come back and spontaneously start cat sitting. 

I’m doing something I really enjoy. I love my furbabies. I may only take care of them while their families travel, but I love them like my own.

For the next 6 months my cat clients are a big part of my life, and then all of a sudden, they aren’t, and it’s over.

My life is back to exactly the way it was when I came back from vacation last July.

Did the cats ever really happen? Or was it all a dream? It feels like it was – except for the huge gaping hole in my heart. For the fur kids that I’ll never see again.

It ended just as spontaneously as it started.

I’ve never been able to keep a job. Only the first one I ever did lasted more than 2 years. All the rest barely more than a year and some of them much less….

I really thought this was different. Especially since I adore cats and I know cats probably better than I know myself.

But now, just as quickly as it started, it disappears and I’m left feeling confused, sad and frustrated… like I’m letting down my babies because they know that when mommy goes away, I’m the familiar face that walks through the door. When I walk in they don’t even come smell me, they come right to me and we go straight into loves.

Breaks my heart to leave them.

And now here I am, back where I started, as if the last 6 months didn’t happen. Feels so weird.

I hurt, but my mind wonders why as it doesn’t feel like it was real….

It’s so hard to describe the way I feel…

I just have to put all of the love for my babies and the pain in a drawer in my mind and close it.

Otherwise it just hurts way too much.

I really thought this work would be different for me, but I guess not…..

A nightmarish day is finally resolved and over….

Today was definitely a roller coaster!!!

It was either involving tons of running around, tons of stress or tons of worrying and hurrying….

I just got home about half an hour ago and I left the house at 10:30am. I didn’t stop once during that time.

Well, I’m stopping now, and I’m taking a good part of tomorrow off!! I need some time to organize….

Today was a complete break in routine and that didn’t help but add to the other stressors of the day.

Mom is settled in for the night and she is feeling much better. Today was a really traumatic day for her and I’m just glad she is now comfy and able to relax πŸ™‚

Trying to relax….

I know that tomorrow (today now) is going to be a full, busy, crazy, hectic day.

I’m half looking forward to it and half not. I definitely know that without the help of the Zoloft, I wouldn’t have been able to handle even half of this.

I’m not handling it very well. One of my bff’s is pretty much dictating and I’m following. But I’m extremely grateful she is because without her this wouldn’t be happening!!

And it needed to happen a long time ago!

From now on my mom is going to have people around her all the time that care for her and about her. This is a world of relief for me.

Now all I have to do is handle/survive the craziness of tomorrow and then everything should be ok lol…. Yep, that all I have to do….. That’s not much is it?!?!

I decided I needed some colouring therapy to try and help me relax so I can sleep well and not wake up all the time. I’m trying my Mandela colouring book and building a pretty color scheme ☺️.

The Zoloft works well for my daily life things, but this is way more than that – way more….

Just please say a prayer that the move for my mom goes smoothly, or at least as much as possible πŸ™‚

I’m not used to needing so much sleep….

I know I’m overwhelmed and over sensory stimulated when once I sit down to relax I can’t seem to get it to be quiet enough….

Sometimes I’ll fall asleep in the middle of the evening for a couple hours and I’ll wake up just around midnight….. Then I’ll shut down the house and go back to bed….

Last night I fell asleep as soon as I got home from date night around 11pm and now is the first time I’m actually awake enough to function….

Almost 12 hours rest, when normally 7 is fine. Wow!!!

I’ve never handled this much before and I’m having a hard time doing it all…..

Not to mention too, that tomorrow is going to be another big day as mom leaves the hospital and moves to her new home.

So much going on….

This is the first few minutes I’ve had a chance to sit down and relax in about the last 24 hours….

So much is going on….

I went from not having any leads for a residence for my mom to go to on Thursday, to having to run out the door on a spur of the moment yesterday for a visit in just over an hour, when it takes me almost an hour to get to my mom.

I have not stopped since I started going at 11:30am yesterday!! I came home last night and practically passed out on my bed within minutes. Woke up this morn and been Non-stop the whole day…phew!!!!

Feels really good to stop!!!

I have a lot to do tomorrow! Tons of forms to fill in and phone calls to make. I need to make sure she has her tv to watch when she moves into her apartment. Also have to plan and organize a few more things to complete her setup.

Tomorrow is going to be so busy 😦

Need Silence…..

Right now I’m having one of those moments when I’m way too sensory overstimulated 😦

I’ve been running around all day for my mom and making calls…..and fighting……and worrying……and my mind just needs some quiet.

It was a really crazy day and it even hurt to drive home. I don’t like driving in the dark as it’s much more sensory input than during the day, and tonight was just worse than usual….. The street lights and cars headlights were even too much sensory input for my brain.

I just need to relax in some low light and either read or do some crochet. Something very low sensory visually.

It’s done ☺️!!!!!

  
I’m so excited!!!!!

I finished my first crochet project 😊🌟😊🌟!!!

I made Juju a scarf with the color of her choice and she loves it!!!

I didn’t want to make it too long as it’s not safe. It’s the perfect length and I left the end strings open so she can tie it but safely :).

Now onto my next one – a scarf for me :)!

Hard weeks ahead….

My mom went into the hospital at the end of November 2015.  She was feeling really awful.

She has type 2 diabetes and they found her blood sugar was too high as well as some of her other medications needed to really be adjusted.

She was a mess emotionally and I was relieved as I knew the hospital was the best place for her to get taken care of.

It was determined by the hospital that her current place of residence is no longer suited for her and it was agreed by the landlord and shut down.

When this happened it was a crazy rush for me to get it cleared out and into storage.

That was during the Christmas 2 weeks and that was really an ordeal to take care of while taking care of my sweet kitties at the same time.

Now we have to find my mom a new home suited to her needs. That won’t be easy.

The doctors and specialists determined that she needs help and certain services. I agree, but my mom doesn’t.

That is where the difficult part comes in…… Finding the perfect place for mom – that takes care of her needs – that SHE loves…..

That is going to be the challenge. What she wants, is not what’s best for her……

Never thought I’d be colouring again :)….

When one of my BFF told me that I should try colouring to help me de-stress and calm my anxiety, I thought she was joking.

Then she told me that there are colouring books for adults and they are designed to help us relax while we colour.

She sent me the link to check some out online and after quite a bit of research on them, I took the leap and got myself a few :).

I’m so glad I did!

Now I’m building my collection of adult colouring books and I’m even collecting different types of pencil crayons and pens to colour with.

There is a whole world to explore when it comes to colouring books for adults, and I have just begun my journey into this world :).

I’m really looking forward to getting to dig deeper. I’ve found a doctor who colouring book as well as a Harry Potter series of colouring books that I’m definitely excited about!!!

I can’t wait to see what other exciting books I will find.

This is one of the basics that I am starting with. I like it as I can be creative. There is not preset colours I should be using like there are in pictures with plants, animals and people…. 

  
There are so many out there!! Something perfect for everyone :). You really should give colouring a try ☺️.